I'm back on the Anti-Depressants as of tomorrow, Duloxetine this time. It's wierd, I really didn't want to go back on medication, but I'm not as bothered by the thought of tablets as I thought I would be, and it's better than having panic attacks nearly every day, sometimes multiple times a day.

The side-effects for this one are really scary though; they include possible hepatitis and vomitting blood, and there is always the possibility that they could make my anxiety worse, or make me suicidal, which would obviously not be good, so maybe they're not such happy pills after all; only time is going to tell with this one.

Good News
Ivette has been given the all clear regarding the cancer.

My new course seems to be really interesting and something that I can really sink my teeth into.

There are lots of really good online resources online for my course.

Stardust, the film from the Neil Gaiman book, comes out on the 19th of October.


Bad News
The house sale fell through today.

I have no money (although technically this isn't news, just a chronic state of affairs).

It would take forever to get to and from my tutorials, so I can't really go.

81%, my joint second-highest score. Only one more grade left to come in now.

I was in a charity shop today and overheard a conversation between two women who worked there. 

They were discussing a woman who had apparently been raped and one of them made the comment that it was the woman's own fault because her skirt was too short. The other woman in the shop agreed and said that she should 'know what men are like', saying, incomprehensibly in this situation, that 'they are studs', and referring to their behaviour centuries ago (i.e. under the feudal system).

Leaving aside the issue of how they could possibly believe that rape somehow tied in with sexual ability or appetite, I was shocked at how blase they were about blaming the woman for 'bringing it upon herself' by what she was wearing. If rape were about sex then how can they explain the cases where young men have burglarized old women and then beaten and raped those women before they left. Were those women somehow 'advertising' themselves as sexually available? It's doubtful that anyone would think that.

That's why I think rape should not be categorised as a sex crime. It's not about men being unable to control themselves when they see a woman they assume to be sexually available. It's about certain men feeling there own situation to be under threat in a patriarchal system, and using the most disgusting and debasing of acts to reassert their own control over women, just to make themselves feel stronger, while physically, emotionally and psychologically damaging their female victims. It isn't about the appearance of the women. It's about the pathology of the men.

The only way I see a change in society's view on rape, to a position where the victim is no longer blamed for her rapists actions, is by aligning rape with crimes that may be seen to have a similar motivation, such as racially-motivated crimes. After all, you rarely hear someone in a shop blaming someone of another race for their own attack because they appeared too 'foreign'.

P.S.- I know this seems like a simplistic view of the subject, but it is just my own opinion.

Well, I have finished my final assignment for my first course, done in exam-like conditions.
I ended up doing it at about half-past midnight last night as, literally, every time I went to sit down and start it, either the phone would go or someone would come round and I needed two hours uninterrupted to do it.
I actually feel like I've done quite well on it, which no doubt means that I have failed miserably.
But at least now I can do some reading for myself, rather than for my course. At least that is the plan, once I've caught up with my creative writing course. I think I'm going to take up a pattern of fiction, non-fiction, book for my next course, in a bid to try and get through my backlog of books that I want to read.
That won't be starting this weekend, though, as we have visitors coming down from Chester, my Aunty Lynne and my great-aunt Sheila. Lynne is a tory councillor and Sheila is slightly bigotted, both conditions I absolutely abhor, but they are both actually lovely people, so I overlook it on the grounds of keeping the peace in the family.
Mum and I will also be looking after my four-year-old niece Lauren tomorrow, despite having had her from ten until seven today, while her mum does...only God knows what, but after that I am determined to have some time to myself, and to not feel guilty about it, and that's about it for me really; those are my plans for the next couple of months. Bliss.